Birthday Love

I've never been a huge fan of birthdays. I don't really enjoy everyone's undivided attention on me when I didn't really do anything to deserve it. There are a lot of things in my life that I have worked really hard at and I appreciate knowing that someone in my life has recognized this work and dedication but being born isn't really one of those things. If anyone deserves to be recognized for existing today, it would be my mother (she was the one that did all the work on that fateful day 23 years ago), without her, I wouldn't be here. (I guess Dad deserves a little shout out here too but that may be awkward...)

That all being said, this birthday was a magical one full of love, laughter and fun. I was lucky enough to be able to spend the day with some of my best friends, my little sister and my parents (not all at the same time but it was still great to see them all). My friends never cease to amaze me by surpassing any possible expectations that I have ever had on what true friendship is supposed to be. I am blessed with people in my life who sincerely care for me and this birthday weekend demonstrated that. R, L, Chica and the G-skitts are some of the kindest and craziest people in the world and I am so happy that I can call them my family. Being surprised by my best friend who was supposed to be far away two minutes before the stroke of midnight and having all of my friends in on the surprise is a moment and a feeling that I will cherish forever. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

With my departure date for France coming full steam ahead, I've been waiting for my anxiety to really settle in. With the exception of a few incidents, I haven't felt anxious at all. Oddly enough, I am completely at peace with the fact that in 3 weeks, I will be living on a different continent than the majority of my loved ones. I was nervous what kind of feelings this birthday weekend would bring. I was nervous that after celebrating with my friends and family, I would feel regret or sadness that I would be leaving them and being apart from them for so long. While I will miss them with all of my heart, the love that I felt today has reassured me that despite the distance, they will always be by my side to listen to my irrational ramblings, to cheer me up during a moment of sadness, to make me laugh so hard that I can't imagine ever stopping or to just be there period.

The anxiety will probably come at some point in the near future but, knowing that my family will always be there for me will make it bearable and beatable.