Something Good

The past week has been a whirlwind of adventures, emotions and experiences. Yesterday , I left the German world that I've been surrounded with the past week and enter back into a land where I won't have to nod and smile and hope that I haven't just insulted someone with my lack of knowledge of the language. Only a few minor mishaps due to the language barrier including ordering 6 euros worth of potato salad and 7 liters of beer instead of the check, all in all, my time in Germany and Austria has been a happy one. 

While I love Munich, Salzburg completely stole my heart. A town more beautiful than anything imaginable, the moment that I stepped off the train into the city, my breath was taken away.  With its winding cobblestone streets, scenic landscapes and the decadent mountains surrounding and embracing the city, Salzburg charmed me more than I thought it would. 

My entire life, Salzburg has been this dream place where I would go in times of turmoil, sadness or just boredom. It served as a feeling of security, a place where I would always be safe. Since before I can remember, The Sound of Music has not only been my favorite movie, it has been my rock. My very first memory of watching Julie Andrews twirl around the spacious green hills above  Salzburg were experienced in the warm, comforting arms of my grandmother. Honestly, it's the most vivid and complete memory that I have of her. Watching the marionettes hop and sing,the children dancing joyfully around the city and the long, graceful Wedding Processional would make all of my fears and worries disappear into nothing. It's more than just a movie to me, it's something that has molded me and formed me into the young woman that I am today.

On October 24th, 2013, I chose to make The Sound of Music forever apart of my life by having one of the lyrics tattooed onto my foot. For a few years now, I have been trying to imagine what a Sound of Music tattoo would look like. I was having difficulties picturing anything other than music notes with the lyrics "Do Re Mi" around them and to me, there wasn't enough meaning in that to be permanently tattooed  onto my body. Then, a few days before embarking on this journey to France, I found the answer to what I had been seeking for years. 

I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the love of the people in my life and deeply troubled with the thought of leaving them. In the background, the song, Something Good was playing and for a moment, I got lost in between my fear of leaving/losing those I love and my gratitude of having such wonderful people that I could ever feel so much uncertainty. To have so much love and luck in life, "I must have done something good."

Opened eyes to the horrors of the Holocaust

Under the brilliant blue of the endless skylines with the crisp oranges and reds of Fall, the world seemed so peaceful and still in Dachau, Germany today. If I hadn't known what I had gotten myself into, I would have commented on the gorgeous scenery and the wide open landscape that was painted before my eyes. About 75 years ago, the atmosphere and the tranquility of this space couldn't have been any more different. In 1933, Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party opened the gates to the first of countless concentration camps in Dachaull with the support of the German government. This serene piece of Earth left me feeling quite uneasy and unsettled by the offsetting of the beauty of the land with the terror of what happened on its soil.

In choosing to tour a place that housed, tortured and slaughtered tens of thousands of human beings, one is painfully and sorrowfully aware of the horrors that were lived out but I was unprepared for how It would make me feel walking the same path that  a prisoner might have walked. Moving along throughout the various parts of the camp from the iron gate with its solid, iron-clad motto "Work shall set you free," to the initial shower room, from the barracks designed for 50 but eventually held over 2000 to the large square where the role call would be completed and finally from the crematorium to the gas chambers, today I lived at least a few moments in the depths of a history so full of shame and hurt that it's impossible to fully grasp the extent of the damage. Standing in the same room where innocent people guilty only of being themselves were tricked into voluntarily walking and stripping down for their own tragic death by gas made the weight of all of the images of the broken down people become so much more than just stories or moments from history; it overwhelmed me with emotions and made me see things from the other side of the story. By seeing these things for myself, I awakened a sense of duty to these victims and these survivors that I do everything in my power to honor them and standing up for what I know is wrong, even if the cost is high. 

The Holocaust is something that I've always known of and have always prided myself in "understanding" and being interested in. After seeing for myself the destruction and the unfathomable horrors, I realize now that there is no "understanding" it. It's not something to be interested in but rather something we should be interested in preventing from ever happening again. By painfully remembering the people lost and hurt during the Holocaust, we can hope that the world has evolved into a place where mass genocide and crimes against humanity would just be things in a history book. 

Walking through Dachau today, I experienced intense emotions of guilt, shame, anger, confusion but mostly, just sadness. This is an experience that I will never forget.

Disconnected

Yet again, I find myself sitting amongst an array of other assistants in the Quick (a little classier version of McDonald's) to take advantage of the free wifi, the rustic potatoes and the ice cubes in the pop. Unfortunately, as time passes on, we are finding ourselves to be hanging out in fast food restaurants more often than we would like to admit. For the past two weeks, our internet has been down more than it has been up, a lot more. In fact, if we counted the amount of times it has actually been working, we probably wouldn't be able to use two hands.

While it has been rather stressful trying to plan a cross-countries trip without any internet and  keeping in touch with my family while my sister had surgery (she is a little less wise now since her wisdom teeth have been removed but is doing well), being disconnected has been an exciting/exhilerating experience. Not being able to google something or facebook message a friend has made me live more in the moment and appreciate the little things in life. I've had to be more pre-emptive in my planning and the lack of internet in the Residence has made all of the assistants to communicate more one-on-one and be more social in each other's lives.

Tomorrow, a few of my roommates and I and our Canadian friend are going off on an adventure. We're are traveling to Munich and Salzburg together. Then, I will take a bus to Frankfurt and spend some time with a sorority sister, hop on a plane to England and experience London and Brighton with my little's bestie and then come back to La France. Fortunately, I'm being paid to have 8 weeks of paid vacation during my 7 months here and I'm trying to take advantage of every moment of it.

À plus!

Community

Every person, whether they want it or not, craves community.

Community is a feeling of belonging. It's knowing that people care for you and that they support you in your endeavors. Community accepts you even if you don't accept yourself. It's a place that allows you to take risks and will be there for you whether you fall or you fly. Community cannot be broken by simple words or feelings; it's stronger and deeper than an argument. It helps you grow and cultivate your passions, interests and overall personality while not forcing you to change. Community is a place in your heart that just makes sense. It's home. 

I know that personally, community is one of the those things that really have an impact on the richness of a life. Without a sense of community, you're alone facing the world that so easily can tear you down. I've been blessed with such a strong community of people constantly surrounding me in Ohio that the idea of leaving such a safe, warm, loved environment is one that could fill you with regret and fear. Instead, I know that my pirates, my family and my dear friends will always be there to encourage me to branch out and be the best Jem that I could be.

Luckily for me, I have not found it difficult to find community here in Nancy. Everywhere I look, there is someone willing to stick out their hand to help me or someone to talk to. The nice thing about being a a language assistant is that there are 12 other people who know exactly what I'm going through and who are living the same changes that I am. These other primary language assistants are people who are so positive, so upbeat and such great people who have already etched themselves a place in my heart. The community felt already is so inspiring and heartwarming. I know that I am in a good place. They are my community.

You can't get more French than...

Upon further reflection into the reality of my living situation, I have realized that  I am quite an impressionable human being and that I tend to adapt my lifestyle to that of those around me. This being said, the longer that I am in France, the more I feel as though I am becoming a bit more French as the days go on. Taking this with a grain of salt (I'm not sure that I could ever completely lose my Buckeye attitude and my in general american-ness completely), it is an observation that leaves me feeling both hopeful and a bit uneasy.

While I've only been in France for 2 weeks, I feel as though I've been here for an eternity. It's as if I've been floating on air and been going through the motions (and emotions) but that it's all been a dream. Every so often I find myself stopping and looking around at my surroundings and being so overcome with gratitude and awe that I literally stop and breathe in the weight of the opportunity that I have. I am so lucky. The people with whom I am surrounded are wonderful and they are so supportive in my quest to (honestly, I'm not quite sure what goes at the end of this sentence so, I'm possibly on a quest to find out what quest I'm on).

Each day brings about new adventures and continuously changing circumstances. Certain things are getting easier like finding my way back to my appartement and enjoying a good, smelly cheese. I'm enjoying wandering the city and rediscovering the sites (and sights) of the beautiful Nancy. As time marches on, being away from everyone isn't necessarily getting easier, it's just becoming more familiar and more normal.

One thing that I know for sure, you can't get more French than going to the supermarket and buying 4 bottles of red wine, some camembert cheese and some French bread.

Orientation, Falling Potatoes and French Children

Today I began my official role as "assistante de langue" in the primary school Jean JAURES. While I'm not officially teaching quite yet, I did get to meet some of the students and the teachers that I will be working with. This week is full of orientation stuff so I was glad to meet the people that I would be seeing on a daily basis. I will be working with a guy from Colorado who seems pretty cool. 

The school itself is so charming! It is small, there are 2 classes in each grade level but I had forgotten how adorable french children are!! I don't actually speak any french at school (the kids think that we  don't know any French at all and even the other teachers who don't speak English say "Hello" to us when passing instead of "Bonjour")! I will be working with 6 year olds and 7 year olds mainly and I couldn't be happier. I "work"Monday, Tuesday and Thursdays from 9:15-11:15 and then again from 2:15-4:15 and only live about a 3 minute walk from school when there's traffic so I have it pretty easy.

I still have another week full of orientation like things so I won't really be able to say that I've started working until next week but it feels wonderful to start working again! While I loved sleeping in and wandering around town, I'm glad to be able to have more structure in my French life again!  I've been discovering and rediscovering little nooks of the town and couldn't be happier with my life here in Nancy. On Sunday I hung out with my 2nd host family and lucky to spend the afternoon with them (also to eat real food that wasn't undercooked, lettuce, or happened to fall on my head when reaching for it on the shelf...a bag of potatoes is really hard!). I'm excited to enrich my relationships with them, my other host families and my french friends and deepen my ties to La Lorraine.